Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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