I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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