I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
