You work out of a Hotel?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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