He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
