I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
