she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
