My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
