How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
