Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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