I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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