you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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