She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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