he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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