Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
