You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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