you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
