It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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