it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
