"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
