weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize