this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
