everyone is single if you try hard enough
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The uberlube is also flammable
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
