the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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