Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize