Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
