Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
