this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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