I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize