i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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