they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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