The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
