i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize