thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
