I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
NoShamevember. You game?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
