Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
