Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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