just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
