Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
