There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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