ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize