i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
as a side note pls kill me
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