I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
