Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
