Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
