we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
