4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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