My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
