I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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