Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
