make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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