i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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