why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
