You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we made out on top of his cat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
