which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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