i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
