So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just pee around me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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