Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
