So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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