I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
