I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
either way he was missing a nipple.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
